"I feel crummy!"

It all takes me back to that time I got ahold of a batch of super-heavy-duty permanent pens and we were on the train (so you can tell this was before I started driving!) and i handed one of my mate, for anonymity's sake I'm going to give him the name Ben G. Phresh, and said RIGHT WHATEVER YOU DO DON'T DRAW ON ANYTHING COS IT WILL NEVER COME OFF. I should have guessed that Phresh being Phresh (as he so often is) he went and drew a big penis right on the wall! Crazy times!

I'm sure you were wondering what actually it was that did take me back to that time! Well I was in a bar in New York, however I was under 21 so couldn't actually drink at the time, I'd made up for it by drinking heavily with my breakfast at the airport before I flew over there. I put on some Billy Joel on the Jukebox and some dood @ the bar turned to his buddy and said "Billy Joel in New York? ALRIGHT!" and there was much joy!

As soon as the song finished, Ben G. Phresh and his life partner Mark Chubb entered with Mark's entourage in tow. I tipped back my authentic cowboy hat with the authentic pink edging and sequinned rim (which is also the name of the bar I was in, as it happens!). Phresh was just out of the big house, that's where I'd met him the previous decade after I'd rolled three doubles in a row! I had a bad feeling about this. I was meant to be in the Big Apple on vacation, and here were two guys who practically screamed that they had work for one Mr B. Daddy. The bartender asked that they keep it down. It smelt bad, but that served me right for sitting right outside the Men's Room.

Back to that story at a later date. #cliffhanger

Anyway, what's inspired this rather Western-themed entry is an acquaintance of mine who's staying over here to study from Chicago. (Note: those of you with access to Youtube, please search "My Kind of Town" by Frank Sinatra and listen to it in the background whilst reading this bit). So she come's over here to study in London and we were talking and she uses the phrase "I feel crummy partner!" and i just gaped! No-one in my life had ever used such an expression, it revolutionised my entire existance! It was quite something! #multiculturalism4thewin

Back to the Sequinned Rim for more ballbusting action!

I stubbed out my cigarillo on the floor, damaging my croc in the process.
"So, Mr Daddy, said Chubb" said Ben G Phresh, "you can see we got a problem here!"
I stubbed out the melted remains of my funky outdoor footwear, mentally adding them to my fast-approaching first draft of a Christmas list.
"I dunno Benji", I said. I knew that mispronouncing his name always drove him into a frenzy, but that's just the kind of sick bastard I was that particular evening. For some reason he didn't seem to notice...maybe next time... "It smells of some deep shit!"
"Then why are we still sitting right outside the John?!" complained the old crone Cruella, leader of Chubb's extensive all-woman gang.
I left the Sequinned Rim, carefully avoiding falling through any of the gaping holes in the plot, and thought about my next move...


I hope you enjoyed The All New Adventures of Big Daddy, I may write more about his exploits next time!

<<This is an artist (with a camera)'s impression of what the Sequinned Rim might look like in real life!