This week I've had some interesting thoughts. But let me tell you this stuff first...

I hope Brazil are pleased they caused me to lose out on the jackpot in the work sweepstake. First they cunningly trick me into giving a damn about football in the first place by including my main interest (money), then they go and break my heart! I've watched more football in the last couple of weeks than I ever have in all the rest of my life.
Now the cat is being demanding! She keeps trying to jump on my lap whilst I expose myself at my desk (in word form). Little does her cat-mind realise I don't really enjoy her being on my lap, purring maniacally whilst digging her claws into my tender thighs!
Speaking of which, I went for a walk the other day and got such bad chaffing in my gentleman's area that when I checked myself (before i wrecked myself) in the shower the next morning I found a blooming graze mark! I was so upset that my thigh gap has disappeared that I had to immediately eat a pizza whilst having a good think about what caused this weight gain.
I foolishly had a second Monster energy drink this evening whilst at a friend's (and was subsequently named King of the Party-Boys 2014) because 1 is never enough but 2 is too much! Anyway it led to me singing loudly to Rod Stewart on my drive home. Also I felt so wild I thought I could take a selfie and get put on @Cunt_Watchers, which I used to follow on twitter but now I kinda feel like it's a lot of the same old shit. #SoAlternative.
Also watched Law Abiding Citizen this evening (not for the first time) and it was, as always, excellent. Although I now think I may have a man-crush on Jamie Foxx. Especially in Valentine's Day at the end where he's playing the keyboard at the party, I wish I was him. He's also brilliant as Motherfucker Jones in Horrible Bosses!
Also I'm a big Tom Hanks fan and can't even think of a film he's done I don't enjoy!

Also I've sent out questionnaires to my many millions of readers, and the reply I got back indicates my blog posts are too long! The respondent also ticked the boxes marked:
-poor
-very poor
-words begin to escape me as to quite how poor
-buttock-clenchingly piss poor

SO I'm thinking I could spruce it up a bit with some nice pictures.
I had a brief trip down memory lane and realised my first couple of blogs were awash with #hashtags and nice pictures, and they were popular enough, right? RIGHT? *lonelytears*


I know I do go on about Billy Joel a lot also, so here's a nice picture of him .
   He's topped my internal list of favourite musicians of all time

On a political note I took part in the big work today. I was going to go into town and join the picket line but I thought, as long as I'm not at work I can just have my own private revolution here in Nando's and enjoy some delicious chicken at the same time! I was thrilled (in more ways than one) that they've finally rearranged their menu so that the "10 chicken wings" is no longer in a section marked "Great for sharing"


Speaking of Nando's my younger cousin works there and it was her birthday yesterday so happy birthday to you! My Dad suggested I send a card but I know amongst us of the younger generation it's more cool to be given lots of Facebook comments to show how popular you are!

Also finally finished Season 4 of Breaking Bad and found out the big twist at the end....that however deplorable the character Jesse Pinkman is, my women friends will all still say he's the bee's effing knees just cos he's got a pretty face on 'im! #welljel. Also I found out, to my cost, the difference in the Dvd boxes titled "The Fifth Seaon" and "The Final Season". Basically The Final Season, what i have, is only actually half of season 5, even though nowhere on the box it says that u only get the second half of the season on it! My outrage was matched only by my inability to concoct an appropriate comparison!...BITCH


I got laughed at the other day when my macho friend found out how emotional I found Toy Story 3 at the cinema and it got me thinking that I could go back in time and rewatch that film again and re-feel the emotions! We had to delay driving home because I started weeping at the wheel! It was the most powerful cinematic experience I've ever had, and I've seen the first 3 Pokemon films!

"It was weird: he kept messaging me on Facebook and I thought what does he want? Turns out he just wanted to chat!"

The title is basically what a new friend I'd made said to the friend I had met him through when I tried to engage him in friendly chit-chat! Clearly I come across as scary/untrustworthy.

I'm totally living it large and boogying to the album "52nd Street" by Billy Joel atm. It's off the rails! Stiletto is just a massive tune, followed by the bodacious Half A Mile Away and the likes of Until the Night and 52nd Street itself!
I had an impromptu dance in the mirror the other day after getting home from work (after a couple) to BB King's "In The Midnight Hour". My moves wouldn't have looked out of place at a professional singing demo.

Was exposed last night to a new experience: the band Garden Heart, who were friends of my good pal Tariq Khawaja (who let me tell you is a pretty big deal). They were playing a set at a pub in Brighton called The Hope, and they played a few songs but the one that stuck with me the most was called Water, it was awesome! I don't think they are available on iTunes (I have checked) but if you want to listen to it, simply search Garden Heart Water in Youtube and it's pretty easy to find!

Whilst at The Hope, I witness my buddy falling in love with the gorgeous barstaff-lady. I was unable to persuade him to throw caution to the wind and ask for her number or hand in marriage, but it did get me thinking about my own barren love-life. I've only ever had one proper relationship, my school and college-years consisted of just falling head over hells for one girl after another, none of whom returned my affections so I grew used to that being the norm. At the time I was jealous of the people who rocked from one relationship to the next with no trouble.
While I'm grateful for the relationship I had and the good times it brought me, I know can appreciate that relationships have to have a lot of hard work put in to make them last. And there are many times in the meantime when you feel like so much shit and you feel no-one can hurt you like the person you're in a relationship with. And when it does end it doesn't feel great either!
I think one thing is that every TV show or film has some unarguable truth, or some great cliché, that can make you think WOW that would definitely work! and it won't!
Another thing is these men who have tried to turn picking up women into some form of art, which I just find a bit weird, desperate and creepy! Life isn't a game where you can see how far you can sow your seeds. We, as a race, have evolved beyond that!

Yeah so since the end of my relationship my renewed quest for a female companion has regressed to my schooldays of liking some girl from the sidelines, safe in the knowledge that if I do go for it I'll only be met by rejection so best to just stick to the sidelines and like her in safe anonymity.
For instance there was a girl I met through a friend and we got on like a house on fire and she wasn't just cute, she was funny, smart and a bit crazy too. We arranged to meet up just the two of us and see a film but then I was left outside the cinema for 25 minutes and she never showed, and she hasn't offered any explanation or spoken to me since! I've tried to find out but just no reply to anything!
The only other close call I had was when I actually got to the date stage with a girl from Tinder who was very nice, we had a nice meal and some banter (forgive me for using that word) in the pub. I thought things went great and I walked home with a spring in my step despite my dodgy foot (see previous blog) but then the next morning she texts me to say there was no chemistry! I was left hurt and emasculated, but by lunchtime I had gotten over it.

Also one other thing. I've noticed that the spell check on here doesn't actually recognise the word 'blog'.