You know what Yvonne Fair? It didn't HAVE to be you!

"...Since we're on the topic, CAN ghosts breathe underwater?"
I looked at the phone in my hand, before remembering I wasn't on the phone, the person was in the room with me. Still, if they kept acting as crazy as they had been this last hour, the device I was holding might have to be used to beat them unconcious whilst I phoned the police and had this nutjob locked up.
"I don't know if they can breathe underwater, Mom", I sighed. Since I was staying in New York I felt it was only common courtesy to use the American spelling of the word, and I could tell all the natives I spoke to appreciated it."Now please leave."
As she got up to find a hotel to stay in, (my guest room was being used by the cat), I sank back into my armchair and closed my eyes with satisfaction as the joyous tones of Gina G came on over the grammarphone.

That was an excerpt from an idea I had called "Big Grandaddy", which is a spin-off of Bid Daddy and Pissingham. Let me know what you think!

I was musing the other day about the game Dead Rising 2 and the idea of Zombrex. So you have to, as Chuck (who btw gets bitten loads if you're as good as it as I am, and yet never turns into a zombie or anything? what's that about?! at least on The Walking Dead game if you get bitten that's it, game over!) anyway as Chuck you have to find Zombrex which is dotted about the map and not kept in an emergency crate in the emergency shelter where you're staying with your infected daughter! So you have to get the Zombrex and give it to her between 7am and 8am every day or she'll turn into a zombie! She's like 5 and spends the whole game on her PERSONAL GAMEGEAR with headphones on! how much of a connection with her can he have?! plus it says it's very expensive, why doesn't she have a job to pay towards some of it herself?! I reckon our hero Chuck is being taken for a massive ride! Just imagine if he wants to ever have a lie-in in his life he can't because she might kill him whilst he sleeps in until 8:01!

One of the better ideas I've heard recently is the idea to combine Scraphead Challenge with Xfactor (sort of) and get a band of wouldbe musicians (i know, i know, nothing to do with Xfactor) and they have to build musical instruments out of rubbish in a scrapyard and then perform a popular hit from a decade of the judge's choice! it would be amazing! Also Sexfactor would be good, where contestants battle to become the most successful pimps in seedy European cities! And TRexfactor! well i dont think i even need to explain that one!