Well that's a question I don't need to ask you! Since I joined the gym the other week I've been doing a lot of slow walking on the treadmill whilst watching Breakfast on BBC1. However I didn't go this morning so I am one day behind with the news.
I do know about the satellite landing on the comet though, tré exciting! It's a shame we didn't send a few z-list celebrities to manually land it. I think the comet is about 50million miles away, which sounds about a safe distance for the likes of Justin Beiber to be from the rest of humanity.
What's that? Justin Beiber? Why arn't you slating hate-of-the-moment Dapper Laughs?
Well big news: he is dead! Not really, but the character - or should I say 'character' - has been put to rest in a coffin built of complaints, nailed down with a hammer made of outrage, and buried under a dirty topsoil of shame. He's shaved off his beard (not a proper beard like a lumberjack or a Hagrid would wear, but one of the ones all the cool people wear these days that looks like they've just rubbed their glue-covered chins around on a barber's floor)...anyway he's gotten rid of that and put on a polo shirt and apologised for his behaviour. Anyway as with all things Dapper it's created more anger and stuff, with 'ladz' saying that everyone who complained about him just had nothing better to do and was probably frigid, and other excellent reasoning, while some people who are against him are still angry saying he didn't mean any of his apology etc blah blah blah. What I'd love to see is let's just have loads of people on either side of the argument just spend the rest of time being angry. In my opinion (or IMO, as the kids are saying) he's apologised, let's forget about it. Life is too short (as is my memory) to carry on debating this non-issue any longer. I mean while he was about doing it and promoting bellend-ish behaviour among the (largely) young male population of our Great country and telling them that women basically love getting treated like walking, talking storage compartments to keep your penis in and any that argue with that are probably lesbians or frigid! And this ideology is also the key to getting sex from as many women as possible.
So let's discuss this shall we? By "Let's discuss this" I mean I'm going to talk about it, and you're going to jolly well listen! Or at least read it!
Lad Culture - explained by Big Daddy, thoroughly researched (this is a lie) and....and here is what I have found...
Ok so a real lad just seeks to sleep with as many girls (or 'bitches', as he would call them) as possible and can use this as social currency amongst his male peers. This is in stark contrast with the commonly accepted stigma attached to a female who might do the same thing.
Anyway it's a lot to do with trying to portray a macho image and with that comes the glaring obvious-ness (...) that you're really insecure. There's more to life than having big sculpted muscles and acting all masculine etc etc, and that's speaking from someone who's definitely and 100% certainly mastered both those things.
I admit I started this topic with a lot of angry passion but it's starting to ebb now. The point is I've spent much more time than is good for me looking at internet debates, some of them about the whole Dapper-Laughs-Gate and it just makes me cross how in any of the debates all his fans seem to do is call the people objecting to Dapper Laughs 'frigid' or 'losers' or something else moronic. Anyway so I'm going to find a nice snippet from the comments section of one of the these debates and show you exactly what I mean.
For this I have to visit Buzzfeed.com. Better hang up my braincells at the door!
Sweet Jesus...what the hell is this place?
Ok it didn't copy over but it said 'Praise the Lorde' and I was like Nahhh so much
Ok so this is literally copied and pasted from a buzzfeed article which was about Daniel Reilly 'killing the character' of Dapper Laughs and basically apologising for the offence caused etc. You get the point. But do the readers all agree? (I hope not or this'll be bloody boring) Also I BET they have some excellent points to make.
Let's take a look. My points will be in red! FOR MY ANGRY-NESS!
Let's take a look. My points will be in red! FOR MY ANGRY-NESS!
- View 1 more
Emily Lawson · Top Commenter
Is that black turtleneck supposed to make him look like an intellectual, rather than a twat? Name-calling so early on in the game! Minus points! I think if he's trying to shed the image of the character of Dapper Laughs it would hardly make sense to come dressed up as him! Also why's it matter what he's wearing?
Nicola Coughlan · NUI Galway
Just when you think he couldn't get more offensive, he turns up in a polo neck. I take personal offence to this as many people look great in a polo-neck. Yes I am thinking Woody Harrelson in Friends with Benefits! And myself in a nice green one I have. What on earth is there to be offended by with a polo-neck anyway? Actually on a cold day I have had some complaints...
Nicola Coughlan · NUI Galway
Awesome contribution, Lee. Some night time reading for you: http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polo_neck WELL SHIT THE BED! SHE'S ONLY RIGHT! I must take back my comment about Lee being correct, he was so wrong he should be taken to the police for spreading internet-lies! For all who didn't realise, he is wearing a turtle-neck in the video, which we can picture is a regular sort of top with a long tube-like collar to cover the neck. But apparently we're supposed to call them polo-necks!So what the hell have I been wearing all this time?!
Ima Mused · Top Commenter · Works at Panic Station
I don't think I've ever seen such pathetic backpedaling in my life. You've clearly spent no time watching me do really bad BMX demonstrations down the skatepark then. Also this is one of those things where one person sees an apology and someone else is just a bit more cynical.
Andy Brice · Follow · Top Commenter · Kingston University
The guy has been a complete dick. But I think he came across quite well here. I hope the humility is genuine and he's learned his lesson. This guy makes some sense. Let's all hope he's learnt his lesson...but look at his picture...has he got cat ears?
Uche Ezedum · Top Commenter · Langley Marish, Slough, United Kingdom
For someone I've never heard of before all this controversy, I'm sick already of the guy and the story. Time to move on to the next one.... ;p Why bother Uche? You're clearly only going to get bored of them too! Why do you even look at other human beings? They art nothing but the simple playthings that you pick up and discard like a spoilt child! You disgust me!!
Jessica Hanson · Top Commenter · Content Specialist at Wargaming.net
I'm glad he's now on record saying it can encourage men to behave in that way. Because some people are too stupid to realise that it was character acting (terrible, unfunny character acting). Yeah but guys did it before he came along, everyone knew it encouraged it all the way through, and now that he's stopped these people arn't going to say 'well i never thought of it like that' because people like that barely have thoughts at all! Apart from where they're next going to park their todger!
Heloise Pace · Top Commenter
I didn't realise it was a character.. I really did think he was a chauvinistic asshole... That's what is so scary.. he just comes across as a regular "lad" having "banter".. I've met loads like him.. are they all putting on an act too? How can we tell? lol In a way they are putting on an act, for you, for their lad-friends, even for themselves...so deep. "Are we all playing a part in a great play that no-one even knows is happening and that no-one is watching" - Big Daddy, November 2014.
Ruth Forrest · Top Commenter · Nottingham, United Kingdom
Now lets stop writing articles about him and let him just fade into obscurity. Ruth if that's your attitude then you're a massive hypocrite for putting this in the first place!
Jack Cooper
I've never watched his performances, nor have I barely even heard of him, but I'm still disappointed that his shows are being cancelled. Why? His shows had a fan base, and as controversial as they seem to be, they were entertaining thousands. Why must other people step in and ruin it for others? If you don't like it, dont watch it! It's sad how a person jokes about rape gets his show cancelled, but a certain footballer who did actually commit a rape crime is allowed to continue. LADIES AND GENTLEMAN WE HIT THE JACKPOT, WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN! He's synergising that rapey footballer story with Dappergate!! Got to admire that. Well you don't have to if you don't want to. I certainly am not.
Andrew Hill · Top Commenter · Caudillo at Crack In The RoadProbably should have watched the show then, as you'd have seen he didn't just tell dodgy jokes, he actively approached random women in the street and harassed them for laughs. I dare say you oughta be scolded for openly encouraging another human to watch the show, especially when you've just given away massive spoilers.
Also what is this guy the Top Commander of?
Ruth Forrest · Top Commenter · Nottingham, United KingdomWell those things arent comparable. If the footballers job was raping women, it'd be a different story. He's been charged, served his time and is now going back to his original job. Your analogy doesnt really make sense. That's not really true. Most things CAN be compared, unless you're very lazy. Let me give it a go. "What Dapper Laughs did was bad. What that rapey footballer did was worse". They we go, an expert comparison and I didn't even break a sweat.
I now see it actually says 'Commenter' not commander. Too bad.
Also to imply the footballer is not as bad as Dapper Laughs is silly IMO. He was convicted of raping a woman, served 2 years for this abominable crime then was rehired by his football club where he will make a ludicrous amount of money and be in a position where he could be considered a role-model for young football fans.
I caught a little on the story on Question Time and there was a Lord who put it well. He said that this footballer had the right to work, as everyone does, but if this Lord was the Manager of the football team he would not rehire him.
Anyway that's possibly a debate for another time!
And there you have it! Some excellent points well made, but I'm upset nobody called anyone's mom a slag! I found this fairly tame. Maybe next time we should hit up the Britain First homepage for a good laugh - if it wasn't so sickening.
Also people who think hunting animals is a basic human right. It was once, when it was for survival and we were hunting wooly mammoths. If you're hungry, go to a supermarket u stupid buffoon.
Here's something we can all enjoy and bond over.
Sweet Jesus...
