But I don't want to be hunted for my pelt in a zombie apolocalypse!

So I was playing State of Decay #zombiegameoftheyear and a zombie jumps at me, trying to ravage me with it's rotten dentistry. I popped a cap in it's head mid-jump. I was thinking it would be worth the end of civilisation if I could become that much of a badass. I hope it happens. If I was one of the first ones to die I would be furious.

What's new with me, I hear you ask? You didn't? Oh well let me tell you anyway!

I had Chinese for dinner this evening, it was delicious. Beef and Noodles alongside some Egg-friend Rice? Can't go wrong!

Also I've noticed that with some friends of mine whenever they're talking I'm not paying the slightest bit of attention. I have decided to turn over a new leaf, and whenever this happens now I am honest with them. I turn to them and say "I'm sorry, I've not been listening. What did you say?" and they're usually fine with it!

I finished a book the other day that wasn't a sci-fi. I was queueing in Asda the other week buying meals for one #cryingface and saw they had a load of books on sale for £1! I plumped on a grown-up book all about rape and murder called The Ladykiller by Martina Cole. It was raaather chilling at times, with lots of juicey murders with a few raunchy sex scenes between the main protagonists. Let me point out here these were different from the rape scenes, I found them gruesome to the point of not being able to fall asleep at the end of one! I had to read on for a few more pages until something less chilling had happened! But yes, would definately recommend!

Bent down to tie my lace the other morning before work, and heard one of my few remaining pairs of jeans tear in the crotch region. The humanity!

So I finally got round to watching About Time the other day, very enjoyable. Enjoyment was only marred ever so slightly by the company I watched it with (she has major Daddy issues so wishes Bill Nighy was her Dad). It's not your typical love story film where the hero spends the entire film winning Rachel McAdams' attentions and marrying her at the end, and I liked that about it.

Which of these phrases make more sense to you and why?

a) "Anyone can add me as a friend on facebook, that's fine. But if they start talking to me...that's just creepy!"
b) "If someone random added me on facebook and didn't even say anything, I'd find THAT more creepy".

As usual, as the end of the month perambulates into view, I am busy rubbing my hands together at the thought of actually having a penny to my name! This will be the first month since I started my job (back in July) that I don't have a large car-related bill to pay! Only last week I had to fork over more than £6 to have a couple of lights replaced. It's daylight robbery! It had to be daylight robbery as my car was not fit to drive in the dark with it's headlights out of action!
My money situation is getting so tiresome I'm having to wrack my brains for mad money-making schemes. I've already sold all the xbox games my brother left me once he defected to the PS4.

I was in a swimming pool when my charming lady company comes running up to me (figuratively speaking of course. She knows about not running by the poolside!) anyway she comes running up to me, to tell me she's found someone who is even hairier than me. It does wonders for my self-esteem. I sometimes worry that if a game-hunter saw me they might kill me to wear my big shaggy pelt :( On the other hand I will survive for longer in winter if for some reason it's the end of the world and we have to burn all the clothes in the world to keep warm.

I had a dream once where everyone I know was rounded up and we were all put into a big prison where clothes were illegal. It was weird.
I also had a dream where a giant bird-monster tried to eat me on my way out of the psychiatrist's office and I was saved by a huge bearded man who put an entire pillow into it's mouth.
Then there were the dozens of zombie dreams I had. They became so standard that 'nightmare' doesn't really apply anymore!
Also I had a dream where I was fighting the loathed neighbour from up the street, while my family cheered me on.

Anyway do you have times when you were very little and something amazing happened but you're not sure if it really happened or if it was just your overactive imagination? For instance once when I was very little I was sitting in the front room looking out at the street. Suddenly(!) a bright red jet plane zooms down and up again, passing metres from the ground! I was so shocked! I could have sworn it happened, but looking back now I think it unlikely.

I decided to leave the gym, as I was planning to move to a different town. But anyway that hasn't happened yet, however not having an obligation to go to the gym is a very nice feeling! I tell myself I will use the dumbbells I bought to prop the door open, or go jogging, but as of yet it has yet to happen!

I thought that to solve some of my money issues I could become a fashion designer. I will have my own tragedy of a talent show where I find hopeless nobodies to model my gear, which will all be vest-based and it will be called 'Who Looks Best, Dressed In A Vest" and because shit on the tv is very popular, I will made a bundle! Also Summer will be just around the corner soon, and my vests will come into their own! I will be safe from overheating when wearing my vests, and when the weather turns cold, my natural furriness will stave off freezing to death!

More on that in the future.

The pelts of other hairy men, turned into vests.

That feeling when you realise you just missed the expiry date on your Tesco Clubcard voucher for £2 off when you spend £20 in store!

Feels bad when your last clubcard voucher has run out 2 days previously, heaven knows I've been saving it for a special occasion! Especially since the vodka won't be on offer forever, I just haven't been drinking my current bottle fast enough! #wellvexed!

It's never too early in the morning to light some candles and get all medieval up in this bitch! My companion found out if you waste enough time and melted wax you can make a decent rendition of a human eyeball! I, of course, remanded her for her wasteful nature and we had to throw it away in my bin, but it had no liner in it atm because things I've just got too much going on in my personal life to think about putting aside the time to reline it.

It's true what they say, they don't even have to try to have a good time! I know I'm re-referencing Carly Rae and Owlcity, but it really is a good song for the early morning! I'd defo put my hand up to indicate that I'm down for getting down! And haters better not claim I'm running out of ideas (or my bad grammar like starting a sentence with 'and' #cringe!)....long bracketed claus...refind the original sentence....READY! Right I was sayin' I'm not running out of ideas because I was going to write about the dream I had last night but I don't think it was very memorable!

So instead I'm going to write about some memorable dreams that have haunted my life throughout! But first I wanted to say hello to my readers in the USA, so HOWDY!, and also to my readers in Germany! GUTEN TAG!

I'm anxious to lure in more overseas bloggers to read my OC so I'm going to start bigging up some countries so I can raise the multi-cultural-appeal! I here that it works very well in New Zealand! :)

Anyway back to my dreams! I remember one that spooked me as a child growing up in Southern England (but for the purposes of my overseas readers I might have grown up in *insert name of your native country here* #includingyourselfisfun!). Okay I was in a big old house and I'd just stepped into the hall after saying goodbye to this lady with glasses who sat behind a desk. I still to this day don't know who she was, but I often think about her, and wonder how this framed picture of her appeared on my bedside table! Anyway suddenly this terrifying beast appeared! It had 6 (six) arms, four black that it walked on two held out in front of it like someone does when they're wandering around trying to look like a zombie and at the same time groping for a lightswich in the dark! And it had a cat's face but with a giant beak like that big bird on the telephone wire in the short film that comes on before Monsters Inc.! The scariest thing was that this dream was released years before Monsters Inc. was ever conceived, so maybe Pixar has hired some phychics to pick the brains of the young! Anyway so there were some bearded men downstairs plotting in some study (I know, epic foreshadowing of the problems in the 21st century!), If only the government started asking children about their dreams and stopped trying to be trendy and cool! So these plotters incredibly saved me from the bird-cat-beast by stuffing an entire pillow down it's throat!

That's all for now! To all my readers in Benin, goodbye!

 
OMG it looks a lot like my monster!!!!