Can I write a pleasurable story? After They Were Famous: The House Robots from Robot Wars Special.

Matilda had a book written about her life as a young girl before her accident turned her into a steel-skinned merchant of robot death!

Okay my patience with Paint is finite so I'm just going to ask you to close your eyes.

- now open them again so you can read what you're supposed to be imagining.

- Sergeant Bash in Vietnam.
- Sir Kill-a-lot getting knighted by the Queen.
- the rest I have yet to think of anything for.





So another thought I've had for a good story recently would be to have Scooby Doo and Mystery Inc. investigating the gunge pool that was made infamous in the hit 90s kids show Get Your Own Back, with Dave Benson Philips "being-cool"-ing his way into the nation's hearts. Anyway the idea is that the gunge pool is haunted by a ghost. It's a solid idea.

Only became aware of the song by Quindon Tarver: Everybody's free (to wear sunscreen) (2007 mix). In one word, I find it absolutely amazing! The only downside is that on iTunes it's 'Album Only' and the rest of the album is the shit. In a bad way.

Also massively enjoying the music video to Move by Little Mix. I have a feeling if I was kidnapped and forced to appear in a music video, I would happily choose that one to star in. Or I would be Katy Perry in Roar...but this is all based on the assumption that my kidnappers let me choose what music video I got to star in anyway. And why would they do that? Why would they want me to perform a music video for them in the first place? Well, if we're talking about 'in the first places' why have they kidnapped me at all? And where are their music video studios located? But yeah the reason I would choose Move to perform is cos it looks extremely exhausting and it would be one intense workout, especially the bit near the end where the group and all their backing dancers are all doing sort of bent knees arms moving all in sync phatty moves. Also the camera is all like in and out on a diagonal axis and I think it really adds a sense of motion (I could be a professional with this banter).

Speaking of which I saw an N-SYNC (don't know if that's even how you spell the band name and not about to press Control and T to open an investigative tab)...anyway saw an N-SYNC video the other day. Before I get into that I have a feeling that N-SYNC would be an amazing name for a backing robot-dancer for C-3PO and R2-D2 in the upcoming Star Wars film. So I watched this video and the main thing I took away from it was 'they're all very good at synchronised dancing'. That's a positive thing. I enjoyed the song.

Actually robots could be even better synchronised dancers than mere humans. If you programmed them all to throw some amazing shapes then how could they fail? Also let me point out that Justin Timberlake stars in The Social Network, which features computers...that are like robots! #conspiracry

I also thought up over lunch the other day the idea of a Swedish Detective called Nestlé Stockholm, and she (or he, I haven't thought this through with much depth) will solve gruesome murders and the like. I hesitate to call it a spoof of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, more like a brave re-imagining.

It's late.

Blog 8.0

Often I've sat about ruminating about what's really stopping me building a robot that was basically humanoid but would be able to beat up all the other robots in Robot War and start a robot army! Craig Charles would be stunned! As stunned as I was when I looked at Wikipedia and saw Robot Wars finished... FINISHED! ...in 2003! Unbeleivable! It was such a cornerstone of British television! And it was great in Arenas of Destruction where you could just build a robot that was a disc-shape, cover it in spikes, run it at everything and they would just flip onto their backs! #hax! Epic Game!

It seems my blog has picked up the attention of some POSER calling themselves "D" and they just throw slander at my last entry saying "niga pls". I just don't know where this leaves me!

Nothing beats a post-bath naked candle-whittling #fyi!

Also lost my 'naked in a changing room with other men' virginity this week. I mean obviously I wrapped a towel around my nethers, I'm not an exhibitionist like all those old men! They just don't care about anything anymore, and in a way I definately envy them that! Every time I'm with my good woman and see a huge fat man in the swimming pool in just speedo's I always turn to her and say "He's loving life! good for him!"
Speaking of speedo's: if you're in a sportingwear establishment, go up to them and put ur thumb over the "s", I won't spoil the surprise but it's definately worth the build-up!

I've decided to go clean shaven for the first time in a few weeks, it's a life change I think just suits my lifestyle more! What I have found out though is that when I shave I have to go over with the electric razor first then finish with a wet shave. I know now that doing a bad job at stage 1, then leaving stage 2, the wet shave, for a whole day, is not a good idea! Scratchy and uneven is how I'd describe it! Seriously considered rubbing my chin against people today to squeeze them for information, that is if I were torture-inclined!

Thinking back on it now though...Craig Charles wouldn't be stunned at a robot army. He'd have seen in coming, and I would simply impose him as the sort of Jesus-figure for the forces to rally behind. It would be glorious.

Have I a new foe in this mysterious "D" character? Find out next time...that he leaves disparaging comments!
Also next time, the next installment to the critically acclaimed series Big Daddy and Pissingham

He's describing how big the chances are of any robot defeating him in the arena!