Louis Armstrong, Films, Women and Llamas. Listing my sexual preferences.

A proper Louis Armstrong Awakening.
So what if I'm 50 years late to the party! I love Louis Armstrong even more than I did before! Now I've discovered tunes like Hellzapoppin, Cabaret and Zat You, Santa Claus? my life feels much more complete, musically. I enjoy his deep husky voice, it sounds a bit like if you made a bear out of bricks and then taught it to sing, that's how it would sing.
Also watched Guardians of the Galaxy for the first time recently, my goodness what a soundtrack! Always a treat when a modern film has a banging soundtrack from the 70s so people like me, born in 1990, can connect to it.
Speaking of films, just finished watched Dallas Buyers Club. If you went to a shop and bought a jar labelled 'excellence' and then i dunked a finger in it and smeared it inside my DVD player (not a euphemism) then Dallas Buyer's Club would definitely pop up on screen! It's not an action film, or a comedy like most of my favorite films, but it's in that third type of films I enjoy like Invictus, Forrest Gump or Pokemon The First Movie, that you know are just solid. About the real shit. Know w'ham sayin'?
I was watching Guardians of the Galaxy and I was saying to my good lady friend that I think one of the main reasons it appeals to me is that the main character is just a normal young boy (exactly, like me!, I hear you thinking) and basically it starts with him being abducted and then it skips forward 26 years and shows how he's a bloody space outlaw! So basically within 5 minutes it's got into your head that anything IS possible! Who would not love that?
"You wouldn't say that if she was a bloke" is something I had to say the other day to a male friend of mine, in my tiresome quest to be seen as the biggest white knight in the realm. But let me explain. I don't remember the exact details but let me try to explain this crazy idea and at least my friend did say 'fair enough!' and i believe I changed his mind about the whole thing forever. So mission accomplished. But anyway as I was saying, call me a social revolutionary, but I think the whole stigma towards women who have a lot of sexual partners in a short space of time, coupled with the hero-status that a man with a similar record could expect, is a bit old-fashioned these days. Time for us all to move on and think of a better, more respectable way to think. Try it, if you don't already!

Long-term effects of being a twat.
Today someone I knew told me they thought they were fat. They're not, they're gorgeous but anyway it got me to thinking. Hold one, let me say first that's not to say the larger ladies cannot be gorgeous as well! 'Oh good, thanks!' I hear them all saying 'as long as you believe we're still beautiful'
Anyway so like I was trying to say before I was interrupted I know another lady who's one of the most incredibly stunning/sexiest women I've ever met, but because she was told by a guy who she was seeing (see complete cunt-face) told her she was worthless etc, she believed it and it made her hate herself despite the clear evidence that it was all untrue. So what I'm basically saying is be thoughtful about what you say, as well as what you do, since what can take a second to say can take a lifetime to stop echoing through that person's head.
If this has happened to you, bear in mind that the person saying it was probably a morally bankrupt moron who'll be dead one day....or a less severe way of saying this is that their opinions are worthless and what really matters is how you feel, not how you look. I mean that only applies if they were being horrible about your looks. I'll try again
Just don't listen to him, he was probably a knob with an ego complex who knew he wasn't good enough for you! :)

On a more serious note I was recently introduced to the concept of 'shaved llamas'. If you have young children I would turn them away from the screen if you're looking at this on a screen. If you're reading it in a rich leatherbound volume then your children are probably busy smoking cigars in fezz's and smoking jackets so you're a terrible parent and you wont listen. If you've gone for the third option and are listening to this on audio casette, you should really get with the times and probably invest in a CD walkman.
Anyway shaved llamas are actually a non-sexual phenomenom (at least to me - your preferences are your own business). Here's a nice picture of one.

Lovely isn't it!
Not like a shaved bear, they're the thing of nightmares!




Anyway so the llama is the one on the left. The bear is on the right. So they only shaved them to get the wool, not for comedic purposes but it's like two birds with one stone. And I dont know why someone shaved a bear, I can only assume they're dead in a bear-related attack.

Hope you're enjoyed this.