Some hilarious, family friendly jokes, followed by detailed recounts of my recent sex dreams.

So I said something Lol-worthy the other day. I was playing scrabble (on my phone. It's the 21st century, man!) and my opponent used a word 'Godet'. Now call me an ignorant gorrysporrencobbler but I didn't know what that meant! Neither did she, and she admitted this, her tone heavy with the shame.

I countered with the word 'Moa' and I was like at least I know what that is!

It's what I mo my lawn with!

For those of you that are interested, and as this blog is here to educate as well as to "entertain", I show you the following:

"A godet (/ɡoʊˈdeɪ/ or /ɡoʊˈdɛt/) is an extra piece of fabric in the shape of a circular sector which is set into a garment, usually a dress or skirt. The addition of a godet causes the article of clothing in question to flare, thus adding width and volume. Adding a godet to a piece of clothing also gives the wearer a wider range of motion."

– Wikipedia

Another thing happened yesterday. I was out on a walk with a different friend (That means I have at least two. Count 'em) and she used the phrase ‘but alas’. I think she was talking about me doing something more with my life, but my mind was elsewhere! (She’s proud not to read this blog so I can say what I like about her).

All I heard was ‘Butterlass’ and in my mind a new superheroin was born.

On a vaguely connected note, one of my female friends reports to waking up smelling of butter. So it might be her. Or she might be a perverse sexual deviant. Knob of Butter. I’ll say no more.

So yeah the main themes behind Butterlass would just be being an obese woman who fights crime. She also makes a stand for overweight people (who are too fat to stand up for themselves). She never plays the damsel in distress either, as she is too heavy to kidnap.

Lastly I’d like to share all about a couple of sex dreams I’ve had recently. Neither of them involved a Moa, sadly, but one does involve a girl with a pig’s nose. I’d like to point out now that I’ve never seen the movie ‘Penelope’ and also that there was no actual rumpy-pumpy with pig-woman, though of course I’m not prejudiced against her. I was pretty much of the opinion, well we’re both single, why not?

Then her drunken sister burst in, and demanded we call her ‘Shandy Andi’ which got me thinking. If Andi is a shortened name for a girl, what is it short for?

That’s the end of that dream.

A moa.