That moment that everyone will go through when you just have to vomit your ideas on a page and be hailed a Mary.

It's always sad when a lonesome drink-a-thon at home has to come to an end because you've run out of ice, isn't it? I mean I enjoy a good drink but I'm not a savage!

Once I found a tie-clip in a gutter! I still have it!

My speedometre in my car (obviously, I dont have one for my feet) has stopped working so all my speed is done by guess-work now.

I often walk along and need to sidestep (not cos I'm in Step-Up The Streets but just because like a dog is coming at me or there's a bin or something in the way) and I just look to my left or right expecting to have some rear-view mirrors to see if I'm stepping in someone's way as they be coming at me on my left or right. THEN I see that I am just looking ahead and to my left or right and am none-the-wiser as to how safe I am doing the aforementioned side-step - bam I've run over a dog/old person.

I've been eating a lot of spicey food recently, I've even been introduced to chorizo sausage (which isn't a crude slang term for a Spanish gigolo) which is pretty good, so I'm starting to worry am I suffering from sympathy pregnancy?

I've been slowly writing a novel about some bumbling detective and I'm thinking the villain will have some stereotype Chinese assassin henchman and I'm thinking their names could be Cli-Shay and P. King Duck. How offensive, on a scale of 1-10?

Also are there bits of cities that are so rough that even the bus service is delayed by the fact all the buses are up on bricks?

I was explaining to a friend the way The Woman In Black (in theatres) is a 2-man show (plus one scary-as-fuck woman...in black) and it came to me that maybe someone should do a one-man porno (not that I've ever watched a porno...what even is that?) and it would be great. He would have to play all the parts and put on voices and costumes and stuff...it's just a thought.

I'm singing my way through a good old Meatload album and I remember a friend of mine saying he was too passionate in his singing style and I see what they meant but it dont stop it being some phat tuneage, y'know wham sayin'? I mean I dont know wtf he's so excited about but boy is it contagious! Maybe I should just sing about everything from now on and probably be all sweaty and stuff.