I work myself too hard I have an arguement with myself just so I win, then I celebrate my win with some alcohol then I keep drinking.

 "You don't know who Boba Fett is?"
"No. I'm more of a Star Wars kinda guy."

Bruce Willis you massive troll!

Actually I'd quite enjoy watching Bruce Willis in a film where is a Troll Hunter. An Internet-troll hunter!And for anyone out there who doesn't know what an internet troll is, it's basically code-word for "joker", "liar", "c*nt". In that order!

And I started my fruitarian diet, but I will still eat meat! Like today I gobbled down 2 bananas, 2 oranges and an apple, but complimented it with a ham sandwich! I could be a meal-creater, which is a new job I've made up, it's like a conducter for a restaurant kitchen where he (or she) decides what meals can be cobbled together! Need I say that when I finally got home I just started whoring myself on Hula Hoops and Vodka. But who hasn't been there?

I also took some saucy pictures of myself in the bath, and started listening to P!nk. I dont know if the two events are related? Maybe you can tell me. When I got home today I was like I'm tearing off my trousers (no unusual thing there you might think!) but this time I was like I'm not even going to bother putting on my LOUNGEWEAR I just sat around in my undergarments. If anyone's got a problem with that, they can leave a comment!

Also I had a terrifying moment whilst delivering pizzas where I thought if a zombie attacked me would I be able to press the lock button on my car door fast enough to avoid it grabbing my arm and biting me?! I mean it would be well scary-m8. What would I do first I wonder? Head home and get my collection of knives and lint, then roam the streets asking people why they are being so serious?Maybe not. I could probably use my money pot to kill a zombie or two! it weighs so much now it would do more damage than a swinging elephants testicle!

So Christmas is coming! I love it! I went out and did nearly all my shopping in one day yesterday and only got one present for myself! Watch this space later for more christmas related news!

HOLAA!!

Basically me after I get home from work, but this one has a less pronounced package. Fact.