I ask that before you read the below, you open the following link and play it while you read. It's like a freakin assault on the 5 senses. Your eyes, your ears, your nose (cos you nose it's all good) and your sense of decency. Also you feel good.
I've given up Facebook for lent. Or that's what I've told the public...
The spell check on here is rather irritating. There's no option where you right-click and 'ignore this, I knew what I was typing. I don't care if you've never heard of funtastic! I'm in charge here!'
I'm trying this grown-up thing called budgeting (the sad truth is I'm now doubting all my spelling) CURSE YOU SPALLCHECK!.....DAMMIT!
So yeah budgeting, I found a good way to save money. I ran out of vodka the other day and rather than buy more I've just bought loads of energy drinks to mix with the questionable spirits i have lurking in my cupboards! I'm a budgeting genius!
Also for lent I've decided to, as some of my friends say, 'cut the fat'. Don't fear, I can assure you this has nothing to do with exercising (another thing I told myself I would start doing)! Basically you go through your social diary and get rid of people you think you're too good for anymore!
By the way if you're reading this and notice I no longer follow you on facebook (@JackSummers1990 #shameless self-plugging) then put two and two together and get one whole 'yeah this is awkward' basically you might have been one of those people who are too hard to get hold of or basically keep bailing or not bothering to see me, so are you a true friend anyway? Either that or you are a true friend but I dont need reminding of what you're doing ever. Like people who used to appear on my newsfeed on facebook (back in the day before i deactivated it, did I mention that's what I did?) so if u appeared on my newsfeed too often you were unintentionally drawing my ire! Or if you keep putting baby pictures up. That's a surefire way of making me be all like d'awwwww then 'snawwwwwww' see what I did there? Who else noticed 99% of babies don't get cute until they're a few months old? Also staring down a baby is a surefire way of getting it to stop crying, at least 50% of the time.
"Hello handsome, you single?"
"I prefer the term 'alone'"
I also got rid of my snapchat as part of my slow majestic retreat into social obscurity. The truth is that I never got any snaps I cared for! As someone wise at work said today "I wish I had me as a friend"
But then again this was the same colleague who compared me to Cyril Sneer from The Raccoons, then showed me a picture and I had a childhood flashback!
I had to give a very lazy explanation of the Crimean crisis (it's in all the news) to a friend the other day. She...or he....no I lie it was a she. She was all like UP IN MA GRILL I mean she was like 'I do agree that Ukraine are in the wrong. I mean isn't Crimea part of Russia?" I was like lolmate
Also my brother has started 'streaming' on the internet, but dont worry it's all legit. He plays a game, and other people watch him play! It's genius!
You know what a banging beat is? Definately 'I'm the Man' by Aloe Blacc. I would like to see a Ski Sunday remix (it's probably on youtube, let's check!)
OKAY so why can you search for 'Ski Sunday Remix' on youtube but nothing that comes up in a ski sunday remix?
Ohmydaze lyric-videos are amazing, they combine the magic of music with the joys of reading.
What does the term 'kingdom come' even mean? Also when you think about it what does the term 'very much' even mean? Like thank you very much? Read it out and those words dont even belong together! Thank you...very...much?
I'd so buy a cd of hits sang by bad karaoke singers. I found it most soothing when they had a singer on the radio today singing the hits of Beyoncé.
Can you smell what The Rock is cooking?!
So here's the true-life story of how I was listening to Know Your Damn Role and thinking of asking my beautiful friend in America to find out why a Celtic gang based in Kansas City is following me on Twitter. She loves Sherlock so I can only guess that she will take me up on this amazing investigation.
True story.
I've created the Ski Sunday/Know Your Damn Roll Mashup Remix. It's diabolical. In a good way.
No comments:
Post a Comment