Cookies, Sponges, Vodka, Kids, Pepper & Mail Order Brides

Website Cookies - has anyone EVER clicked on 'please learn more'? More and more often whenever you go on a website (I guarantee most of your minds instantly went to something filthy there, but no, ANY website, no matter how innocent) you get some message up about them using cookies and just to let you know so you can go "OK now can I get on with these dirty pictures I was researching?" but I saw one just now - on Blogger in fact! - that had 2 options. You could either click on something like 'OK got it' or there was the 'Learn More' option and I was like: who clicks that? What happens if you do click it? Is it like in films where there's a secret book in a bookcase where if u pull it out (the book, I'm talking about) and it opens a secret doorway and the designers of this were like "well that book is so obscure that no-one will ever pull it off the shelf! What happens if the librarian takes the book down for dusting or some weirdo with a vested interest in...oh i dont know...underwater sponge-farming (?) comes along and wants to get it out?
Let me reiterate I am not talking about him getting his penis out - unless his has a HUGE interest in sponge-farming.
And are the sponges you use in the bath the same as the sponges they have in the sea? If so that's a most undignified way to treat a dead body - it would be like a mortician getting a dead body at work and failing to think of a good simile!
Anyway the point is instead of a batcave sort of opening thing they should probably just have a key, or if they want it to stay hidden what's the secret entrance doing in a public place with high food traffic anyway? I mean if the secret agent wanted to get in they'd have to wait for the area to be empty which in a library would mean if you had it in the really boring sections then that's where TV has taught me rowdy teens go to 'make out' and if it's in the exciting sections then there would be normal people there...looking at books and whatnot!
But in the end I don't really have any interest in how cookies work and do teenagers even know what a library is anymore? If they want information they just go online and get cookies! THUS THE CIRCLE IS COMPLETE!

Different brands of vodka. So now I'm properly employed again and only have rent back-payments and credit card debt to worry about I figure I can treat myself and went shopping today to restock my near-bare (not even close to being bare) alcohol cabinet. I bought a litre bottle of Smirnoff to start with but was then thought to myself, I've got a bit of cash floating around now maybe I should purchase the stronger more upmarket stuff?
I have bought scotch a couple of times mainly to look sophisticated and that time I vowed not to drink anything younger than 10 years old - i even lugged it up Ben Nevis to drink in drunken glory at the top - I must go back and complete that bold undertaking one day, but first I'll need to assemble a wily team of adventurers.
But yes so I got  litre of Smirnoff for £15 and this Grey Goose was 350ml for £19! I was tempted just to say Yes I don't buy just the cheap shit anymore! I dont care if it tastes the same!

I was reading my book in the garden yesterday in the sunshine and it was lovely. There were even children outside playing (I will have to defend myself here and say, for formality's sake that I'm not a paedophile, just to clear things up) anyway I couldn't see them but could tell they were playing on the grassy knoll adjacent to my house and all of a sudden I can hear one of them loudly squawking the John Cena theme music - I felt kinda proud and also like what has become of our youth?


Ironman & Pepper Potts - So I'm marathoning Marvel movies now just in case I, somehow, drag myself to the cinema and see Civil War. it's not that I'm not excited about it, I so am, but I just never seem to bother to go to the cinema much.

Oh be less fun!

Anyway that's not really the point. The point I'm making here is, let's all get hatin' on Pepper Potts, specifically her in Ironman 2 where she is, as Honest Trailers put it, 'an inconsistant nag' but I would go further and say all she seems to do in the film is try to ruin Tony Stark's day and I'm like Tony you're blatantly (spoiler alert) the coolest Marvel hero what are you doing with this massive downer of a girlfriend who only seems to put you down and get in the way. You could count the productive things she does in that film on one hand - one hand that was caught in a fireworks accident and has no fingers, but even if it did they would be down down down! She's supposedly running the company throughout the film but because you never really see her do anything except scowl at everything and be catty at Tony or Black Widow you're like go away Pepper. Go away forever. In the other films she just is not that annoying!
The rest of the film is quality though, in case you haven't seen since it came out about 6 years ago...

Mail Order Brides sound a bit sleazy at the best of times, bought by men who are too horrifying and to attract a woman based on their charisma or charm so have to purchase one, like a live-in prostitute and housekeeper. Wow I surprised myself with the bluntness of that sentence.
Anyway that's not what I want to dwell on here - what I was to say is...doesn't 'mail-order' sound a bit old fashioned? Surely it's time to update to Email-order brides? It would save postal costs and be there instantly!

Thanks for making the last issue the most-read one yet! Well done you guys. I reward you spiritually!